shocking nite

"gw rasa keluarga di jakarta tuh ga ada yg normal lagi" -satrio to nina- #catatanhariansiboy


astagfirullah haladzim. entah apakah gw harus ber istighfar atau berhamdalah setelah ngedenger kabar which really really shock me. it's not about my wedding, it's something bigger than that. i couldn't imagine how could my boyfriend through this. and along that situation, i don't know how much trouble i made instead of stay at his side and made him strong. it's some kind of happy thing but for the other side, it's really hurt. and for this moment, after this shocking-surprise-confession, truly it's really hurt me. i supposed to be happy, but no i couldn't . at least not for now. i couldn't tell y'all what was the shocking thing i talked about. but trust me, i try to see from every side and it still hurt. actually i'm not directly involve for this problem *sorry beib if you read this post and i have to tell this beautiful thing as a problem* but some how i feel like i'm already member of my boyfriend's family, and yes i feel like his sister feels. aaaarrrggghh, i hate that i can't tell about the problem at this blog. it's too personal, too restricted, too painful.

astagfirullah, i wish one day Allah will give me a big heart to take this as a happy moment and finally i could say alhamdulillah. but plis for this moment, let me feel the pain, at least this pain is for alm.papa. i didn't know him closer than anybody, and i don't know why this thing is hurt me badly like i'm the one whose been cheated.

i know i can't judge this as a wrong thing, because i never be at some one position ever!! sumpaaahh, gw pengen nangis ngejeeeeerr entah mengapa!!

God, can i have at least one normal family?? pengen rasanya gw ngebantah kata2 satrio diatas dan nunjukin bahwa one day, gw yg hidup dan tinggal dijakarta, juga bisa punya keluarga kecil yang normal. cukup lah masa lalu gw dan taufik dengan berbagai warna yg burem. insyaAllah kita berdua bisa punya keluarga yg normal tp tetep berwarna *warnawarna pastel aja ya biar lucu and catchy.hehe*.amin yra.

semoga memang semua ini bisa menjadi pelajaran buat gw dan taufik. semua pengalaman hidup kita berdua dan bisa jadi pondasi buat rumah tangga kita kelak.AMIN :)

x.o.x.o